Live this One Life to the Full.


As a transitioning Ex-Mormon I’m beginning to see this One Life we know we’ve got in a completely new & exciting way.

As a True Believing Mormon my focus was always to prepare for the Afterlife.

In the Mormon belief system this mortal earth life is denigrated as just a preparatory time in expectation of a far greater life after we die called Eternal Life.

Eternal Life is defined as the type of life God lives. It is believed to be never ending, glorious & wonderful. During this Eternal Life Mormons expect to become Gods & Goddesses themselves, to create worlds & populate them.

Mormons are taught that the First Law of Heaven is Obedience. Only those who obey all of God’s Commandments will be allowed to become Gods and Goddesses.

They believe that any sacrifice, even death, is worth making to be found worthy of this Eternal Life.

Most Mormons I know are willing to endure any hardship in order to prove they qualify for this wonderful and glorious blessing of living with God in Eternal Life.

The problem with this belief is that it distorts one’s perception of the value of this One Life we’re living here and now.

Having left Mormonism my perception of this life has changed dramatically.

Believing my existence probably ends at death has brought it into sharp focus. Every moment seems more vital and real and alive.

I feel more connected to all the other human beings and creatures on this planet earth we call home.

I feel more compassion than I’ve ever felt before. I feel a greater sense of urgency about achieving my goals, yet a sense of quiet acceptance for the expected final end when I eventually die.

Being in the Mormon Church now feels like I was in a Bubble. A fantasy world where everything was seen through the distorted lens of the Mormon belief system. Everything in life including family relationships was viewed through this lens so that extra pressures were put on us as parents to teach our children the Mormon beliefs so they could be with us as an Eternal Family. The children felt the pressure to conform or they would be letting us down.

In many ways the fantastical Mormon belief system stopped me from really accepting reality. It hijacked my chances for really living to my potential in this life because my focus was so much on preparing for the next life.

Now I’m FREE!

And this song and video is a metaphor for how I feel.


And best wishes to you on your journey through this wonderful life.

This entry was posted in Mormon Issues, Religious Epiphany, TRUTH and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Live this One Life to the Full.

  1. Paul Young says:

    Yes Steve it is such a relief to be free from all the shackles of a belief system, and to recognise that christianity in all of its forms is one of the worse, if not the worst

  2. Jen says:

    Have you heard the song “Holy Now” by Peter Mayer? One of the lines in it is, “I used to walk this world half here. Heavens second-rate handmedown. Now I walk it with a reverent air. Everything is holy now.”

    I used to put up with a lot of abuse, because life was to be endured. SO much different now. Realizing this might be all I get has made everything seem so sacred. Important. And I am not going to spend a single second suffering if I don’t have to.

  3. Stormin says:

    I agree that this life is a rare and precious gift and it is important to live fully. I am still a Christian and believe we will live forever but can and should live a full life by living principles (eg love, honesty, etc.) taught by Jesus Christ and taught to us by our conscious. I agree you don’t have to be and definitely should not be, a slave to any organized religion (like LDS) to take advantage of true principles. When I decided to transition from being LDS, just removing “the Yoke of LDS Bondage” was so wonderful —– it was an amazing experience!

  4. Good Will says:

    The “yoke” spoken of is not the yoke of Christ. His yoke is easy and His burden light.

    What does that mean?

    It is the false teachings of men, mingled with scripture, that have corrupted your view of what the “LDS” gospel is. You are right in many respects. What Mormonism has become is bondage to false principles. But that is not,/i> the gospel of Christ, neither the Bible, the Book of Mormon or even Joseph Smith! Those are the traditions and commandments of men.

    For example, today in Primary one of my students asked, “How can we keep from committing sin?” I told her: “Come unto Christ. We sin because we don’t know Him or love Him. If we knew Him and loved Him with all our heart, we wouldn’t want to do anything that would offend Him in any way. We wouldn’t want to sin in the slightest!”

    I said “Imagine you loved me with all your heart. If I placed a $100 bill on this table, would you steal it from me while I sat here?” “No,” she said. “If I walked out of this room, would you steal it from me then?” “No!” she said. “Of course you wouldn’t! You wouldn’t want to do anything that would offend or hurt me! In the same way, when we come unto Christ — once we know Him and love Him and feel His love and learn of His expectations for us — we no longer want to sin. When we come unto Christ, we naturally want to keep His commandments.”

    You imagine an iron yoke of external controls and commandments because you refuse to come unto Christ. As with the unbelievers and the brazen serpent in the wilderness, you refuse to look up! You don’t do what is necessary to receive His Holy Spirit or feel His perfect love. You don’t “enter in at the gate” and, consequently, don’t continue to receive, “feast[ing] upon the words of Christ” (2 Nephi 32:4-5). LDS Church leadership is partly to blame. Many confusing, contradictory edicts have emanated from Salt Lake. (As I’ve said, the Church is in de facto, if not actual, apostasy.) You can tell by the “gifts of the Spirit” (or the lack thereof) evident in the lives of LDS members. Where are the gifts of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, healings, interpretation of tongues, etc? They are not found, by and large, among the general body of modern LDS. This is prima facie evidence of spiritual apostasy and disbelief. Mormons sure are proud of their faith! They just don’t practice their religion all that much!

    Steve’s reflections about being “free” are sadly reminiscent of Korihor’s arguments denouncing belief in Christ, however: “Ye say that this people is a free people. Behold, I say they are in bondage. Ye say that those ancient prophecies are true. Behold, I say that ye do not know that they are true…Yea, [believers] durst not make use of that which is their own” — in other words, they don’t live this life to the fullest, nor take advantage of the “here and now” — “lest they should offend their priests, who do yoke them according to their desires, and have brought them to believe, by their traditions and their dreams and their whims and their visions and their pretended mysteries, that they should, if they did not do according to their words, offend some unknown being, who they say is God—a being who never has been seen or known, who never was nor ever will be.” (Alma 30:24, 28.)

    Steve’s words are very similar indeed.

    Steve doesn’t believe in God because Steve has never known God.

    The Book of Mormon teaches that those who (1) repent of their sins and (2) cry unto God with all the energy of their souls shall receive of Him. D&C 93:1 is even clearer:

    “Verily, thus saith the Lord: It shall come to pass that every soul who forsaketh his sins and cometh unto me, and calleth on my name, and obeyeth my voice, and keepeth my commandments, shall see my face and know that I am.”

    Steve didn’t get that far.

    Moroni taught:

    “Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God.” (Moroni 10:32.)

    There is apparently more truth in that statement than Steve will ever know.

    • SteveBloor says:

      Good Will,

      I approved your comments because I believe in allowing free speech, and you were initially kind and gracious.

      However, it seems my blog has become a platform for you to accuse me of never having a testimony of Christ and to proselytise your new brand of Mormonism.

      You do not know me. Yet you think you can read my mind from just a few of my personal musings and from my efforts to gain insight into my Mormon neurology.

      Please don’t attempt to even think you know my previous personal relationship with deity.

      In regards to your suggestion that the Church is true but is in a state of apostacy, I would tend to agree with you were it not that I have an even bigger problem with epistemology, or my confidence in the reliability of gaining knowledge through the Spirit.

      It is NOT a rigorous and infallible method for determining truth from delusion.

      My whole problem now with any faith based religion is their reliance on emotion based perception of truth. I’m afraid I believe it is impossible to rely on something so subjective.

      My study into the psychology of belief helps me to understand how I could have misplaced my trust for so long. When one understands the way the human mind works, it becomes easy to see how so many people can be deceived by their own subconscious minds.

      I advise everyone not to trust everything they think and feel, just because it enters their heads or they experience it.

      Delusions and hallucinations can seem very real to those experiencing them.

      I know from my own personal experience of being delusional about the Church and deity for over 45 years of my life. I can reassure you I have had experiences with the ‘so called divine’ which, at the time, seemed very real to me.

      But now, after increasing my understanding of how the human mind works, I realise these experiences were just artefacts of my own subconscious mind.

      We all imagine our own Gods. Some of us still do.

      Here are some of my previous blog posts on the subject of psychology of belief and self-deception:

      Imprisoned By Our Beliefs

      Question Everything!

      Feelings are Not a Good Indicator of Truth

      How I Gained My Non-Belief

      Is religion useful once you discover the hoax?

      My Testimony was just as ‘Real’ as yours

      I big you adieu,

  5. Good Will says:

    “I am very thankful…that I…am permitted to speak; and I will endeavor to speak with boldness.” (Mosiah 7:12.)

    I wrote “Steve doesn’t believe in God because Steve has never known God.”

    Isn’t that the absolute truth, Steve?

    Or are you now claiming there is a God and that you’ve known Him all along?!

    My! You really are starting to sound more and more like Korihor!

    “…I always knew that there was a God. But behold, the devil…said unto me: Go and reclaim this people, for they have all gone astray after an unknown God. And he said unto me: There is no God; yea, and he taught me that which I should say. And I have taught his words; and I taught them because they were pleasing unto the carnal mind; and I taught them, even until I had much success, insomuch that I verily believed that they were true; and for this cause I withstood the truth, even until I have brought this great curse upon me.” (Alma 30:52-53.)

    Why are you upset with me because I told the truth? I haven’t faulted your reasoning or your efforts. I think Korihor was a pretty “reasonable” guy! He made splendid arguments! What “rational” people would disagree with him?

    Only those who have evidence to believe otherwise.

    You are, undoubtedly, a decent fellow who has done very noble and worthy work, especially with regard to your voluntary service in the Church. I don’t doubt that such noble service continues (though channels unaffiliated with the LDS faith). You have great insights and I appreciate your efforts to share your knowledge and experience with us. I have nothing but compassion and appreciation for you, Steve! I feel your pain! And I empathize with your “relief”, even your “joy” at being “freed” from the shackles of that “false religion” you once practiced.

    And that’s the sad part. You were practicing a false religion, a religion bound by an iron yoke of externally imposed commandments and expectations, apparently based on emotions of euphoria and love and shame and guilt, welded to a misunderstanding of what a real “testimony” of what the gospel entails.

    You were deceived!

    I didn’t “slight” your testimony or prejudge you. I took the time to read everything you wrote on your blog before I commented here. I wanted to know how you got where you are. And you’ve done a great job of explaining yourself! You’ve even just added: “My whole problem now with any faith-based religion is their reliance on emotion-based perception of truth. I’m afraid I believe it is impossible to rely on something so subjective.”

    I couldn’t agree more! I teach chemistry! I wouldn’t attempt to confirm the validity of a chemical analysis by evaluating my feelings — even though completing a successful procedure often does bring me joy!

    Are feelings, thus, utterly lacking in merit? Can they not be indicators of truth?

    Do you hold your marriage to the same high standard of “determining truth” that you employ for religion? Did you say to your wife when you were courting: “I’m afraid, dear, I can’t rely upon our “love-based” feelings to determine the validity of our relationship. That whole “emotion-based” foundation is so very subjective! Clearly our “love” is delusional!”

    The emotionally-based connection you made with your wife was probably the principal factor influencing your decision to marry her, was it not? Wasn’t your love for her “for real”?

    .In fact, that continuing “love” you feel for your wife is probably your greatest — and most enduring — source of joy, is it not? After everything else fades away — sex, cars, money, health — isn’t love the only thing that lasts?

    Charity never faileth. (Moro. 7:46; 1 Cor. 13:8.)

    Does that mean love is “real”?

    When Alma spoke of “planting the seed” and later observing it “swelleth, and sprouteth, and beginneth to grow” as a means for determining if the seed is “good” (see Alma 32:30), he wasn’t just talking about emotions. He was talking about the “fruits” of the gospel, which come in many tangible forms. My seven children are the principal “fruits” of my association with my wife and with the gospel! ( can double-dog guarantee you I wouldn’t have seven kids…and probably wouldn’t even be married!…if I hadn’t embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ. The “goodness” that has “sprung up” in my life — the virtuous and lovely lives of my offspring — is tangible evidence of the gospel’s “sprouting” influence. The “seeds” sown in service and sacrifice have likewise born “fruit” which is real and joy-inspiring. We’re talking actual, physical artifacts of applied faith here — not just emotions. The gospel of Jesus Christ actually transforms lives. It’s not just illusion, delusion, and self-hypnosis. (You say it is.)

    I say the Mormon God is not a mere figment of man’s imagination. (You say He is.)

    Among Mormon’s last words to us were these:

    “But charity is the pure love of Christ…and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.”

    Why would it be well with him who possesses Christ’s pure love? Because if you have charity at the last day, you will be like the Son of God.

    “Wherefore…pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is” (Moroni 7:47-48).

    One needn’t wait until “the last day” to come unto Christ or to have Him appear. In fact, we are commanded to come unto Him now! (See Moroni 10:32).

    This was your mistake, Steve (if I may be so bold). You didn’t complete that last step. You didn’t come unto Christ.

    If you had — not in some metaphorical sense, not in some figurative sense, not in some emotional sense, but — truly come unto Him, He would have manifested Himself unto you. I wonder how close you got before you gave up?

    I’m reminded of a story my college roommate told me:

    My roommate attended a month-long survival course. But before he went, he got into shape. He got lean, fit, and strong. When he arrived, he couldn’t help but mock those “fatties” who rolled off the bus with him. “They’ll never make it”, he flattered himself.

    After enduring weeks of forced marches on a starvation diet, however, with nothing but a jacket to sleep in and keep him warm, my friend’s energy was sapped, his resolve dissipated. He shivered uncontrollably. He was, in fact, slowly dying of hypothermia. He had nothing left. He was exhausted.

    Meanwhile, the “fatties” got fit! They got lean and trim and seemingly stronger each day. They almost had it easy!

    On the last day of the course — while on their last forced march of unknown duration — my buddy rounded a corner only to discover a girl, huddled and shivering along the road side. She cried hopelessly, begging my roommate for his coat.

    My roommate knew he couldn’t make it without his coat. He simply wouldn’t give it up. He said, “I’m sorry” to the crying girl and walked on.

    As he rounded the next corner, he discovered he stood at the finish line.

    My roommate told this story not with pride or exultation, but with anguish in his voice. He was full of regret. No boasting about completing the course. No victory laps for “enduring to the end” of the long march. He only remembered his regret at failing “the test”, for forfeiting his character, by “giving up” at the very last minute — abandoning his convictions — by becoming selfish.

    He could have chosen to save someone else. But he chose to save himself.

    We all make “mistakes” like this. None of us (at first) can see “around the corner”. We all walk in relative darkness, to some extent.

    If you had “pressed forward”, Steve, instead of “giving up” on the gospel of Jesus Christ, you could have met and known our Savior. You could have heard His voice. You could have been wrapped in the arms of His redeeming love.

    You see, that’s what motivates any of us to “endure to the end”. It’s not hard to keep His commandments. His “yoke” is easy. His “burden” is light. We take pleasure in doing what pleases Him because we love Him because He showed that He loved us first.

    We start out loving Him only because we trust the scriptures and the “testimonies” of others. But we come to love Him for ourselves, independent of any other witness because He visits us and manifests His love to us.

    I can testify that Jesus Christ personally visits those who love Him and serve Him and that He manifests His love unto them unto the consuming of their flesh. I have felt this love.

    Is His love real? Does it transform lives? Does it cause men to live — and die — for Him and His cause? Yes, it does.

    What more could you want? Miracles?

    I’ve witnessed several miracles.

    But I would take a sin-free soul filled with love over a miracle any day.

    In fact, such a soul is the greatest miracle of all.

    • David Bloor says:

      Good Will, your words are very similar to that of my Bishop, the day I told him I don’t believe the church is true.

      There is one subtle difference: you write like a narcissist.

      Oh, and my Bishop was Steve Bloor.

  6. Pingback: Live this One Life to the Full | Mantisdolphin's Blog

  7. Ralph says:

    Hi Steve,
    I just found your site linked from the MormonThink website. Great blog, and I appreciate your honesty. I can only imagine what it must have felt like to compose that resignation letter. Hats off to your integrity and willingness to use your mind to see the facts. I studied neuro-psychology at university, so I am also keen on the way that science has helped you in this journey. I do just want to give you this one encouragement though… don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. What I mean by that is, even if Mormonism (along with many other “isms”) gets it wrong, that doesn’t mean that this life is all there is. What if there really is a heaven, and what if it really is better than we can imagine? In my case, I am an “ex-Catholic” who started using my brain to figure out truth from error, and it led me to a very simple, yet profound appreciation for Jesus as revealed in the New Testament. I no longer consider myself a part of any institutionalized religion or “ism” group. However, what I have found in it’s place is a profound new life – like I am really alive for the first time (as you can identify with). Actually, it was Jesus who said “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10). Yet this new-found life on earth is merely a precursor to the life which is to come for those who take Christ at his words – not his supposed words in the Book of Mormon or the silly apocryphal Gospel types – but his actual words in the historically accurate, tried and true New Testament. Please have a look at one of the common English translations of the Bible such as the New International Version or the English Standard Version. Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater! I will be praying for you on your journey, my brother! I am also praying for the myriads of Mormons out there who have yet to have the epiphany that you did. Christ is not the character that the LDS Church makes him out to be – he is much more wonderful and truthful and free. Please take another look at Him now that you’re outside of the LDS world. Bless you!

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